Such friendship is so rare, it may as well be considered impossible to find. But naturally even she disappeared from my life just as easily as the rest, especially when the love of my life told me he fantasized about her. I could never see her the same way as before, after picturing him entering her, even if it was his sick daydream. Sometimes I pick up the box, the one we all have somewhere hidden in our homes or garages or storage units. The one with the dried flowers, cards, letters, mixed tapes, stuffed animals, dirty photos, anything he or she might have left behind. I have letters that I read. Text and email transcripts. Some horrible poetry. I bring this box out when I need to cry and can’t, but now it doesn’t work for me anymore. I read the letters, wonder if their wives have ever seen some of the shit I’ve written, and try like hell to cry or feel or anything. And I can’t. I picture the sex. I picture the cocks. And I can’t feel. I can’t cry. Not until I remember that I. The growing restriction caused more pain and my struggles lessened. You stood over thescene, looking down on your disciples and your victim, savouring this straight woman?sinitiation into your private and secret world were there were no limits on fetishand no restrains on your powers. My strugglesslowly diminished to a resignation of my state, and a fear of what ?delights?you would force upon me. My husband and daughters would all be concerned at mynon appearance in the airports concourse, and even now I foolishly imagined thepolice force scanning the airport. It was only a question if time, surley? My long blonde hairwas grabbed, and feeling as if it was being torn from the roots, my face pulledup out of its recess and made to look forward. There before me was my mistress,and in one hand you held your skirts hem, and had lifted it high. I could seeyou shaven mound and in your other hand you held what to me looked like a smallplastic penis. You ran the toy through the juices of your.
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